Ned, Have You Considered Any

'the Simpsons' Basically - And 'futurama' - Are Really Smart Shows. They're Kind Of Disguised As These Goofy Animated Sitcoms, But The References Within The Shows, If You're Paying Attention, Are Pretty Smart And Pretty Sophisticated.

I Would Prefer To Listen To A French Classical Composer Like Olivier Messiaen Than To The Pop Hits Of The Day.

The Next Time You Are Contemplating A Decision In Which You Are Debating Whether Or Not To Go For The Gusto, Ask Yourself This Important Question: "how Long Am I Going To Be Dead?" With That Perspective, You Can Now Make A Free, Fearless Choice To Do Just About Any Goddamned Sneaky Thing Your Devious Little Mind Can Think Up. Go Ahead. Have Your Fun. You're Welcome. Go On. See You In Hell.

The Conundrum That I Face On A Daily Basis Is That I Have Two Sons Who Have Grown Up Watching 'the Simpsons,' So They Know Exactly What Buttons To Push. They Know How Bart Irritates Homer, And They Use These Lines Against Me To Tell Me That I'm Not Funny Anymore.

Aren't We Forgeting The True Meaning Of Christmas? You Know, The Birth Of Santa.