My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy,

There Are People That Are Vegetarians That Love Bacon.

I Definitely Write About Things That Are Universal, That Everyone Can Identify With. You're Supposed To Write About Things You're Passionate About And I Guess I Am A Foodie. I Do Love Food And It's Kind Of Like I'm An Eccentric Observationalist Guy. To Make It Kind Of Universal, I Try A Lot Of Different Things. When I First Started Writing This, I Was Like, 'no Food.' Then, You Know, It Just Always Goes There.

You Don't Use Mayonnaise, Why? ... Are You Addicted To Mayonnaise? Is It Okay If I Use Mayonnaise? I Could Go Outside.

How About Those People Who Don't Need Sleep? What Are They Called Again? Successful? What A Bunch Of Dicks They Are.

Whenever You Go Out To Eat You Gotta Get The Appetizer. 'cause The Appetizer's Just An Excuse For An Extra Meal. You're Always Like "lets See, I Will Start With The 80 Buffalo Wings...and Do You Have A Low-cal Blue Cheese? 'cause I Don't Wanna Fill Up Too Much."