My Way Of Joking Is

Women Are Not Angels. They Are As Foolish As Men In Many Ways; But They Have Had To Devote Themselves To Life Whilst Men Have Had To Devote Themselves To Death; And That Makes A Vital Difference In Male And Female Religion. Women Have Been Forced To Fear Whilst Men Have Been Forced To Dare: The Heroism Of A Woman Is To Nurse And Protect Life, And Of A Man To Destroy It And Court Death.

The Problem With The Press Is That They Can't Tell The Difference Between A Bicycle Crash And The End Of Civilization.

I Have Defined The Hundred Per Cent American As Ninety-nine Per Cent An Idiot.

You Can Easily Find People Who Are Ten Times As Rich At Sixty As They Were At Twenty But Not One Of Them Will Tell You That They Are Ten Times As Happy

I Find It Easy To Forgive The Man Who Invented A Devilish Instrument Like Dynamite, But How Can One Ever Forgive The Diabolical Mind That Invented The Nobel Prize In Literature?