My Show Is Sort Of

I Can Feel How An Audience Is Reacting When I'm On A Stage, But When You Are On Stage, Your Perception Is Distorted. That's Something You Just Have To Know. It's Like Pilots That Fly At High Gs And They Lose, Sometimes, Consciousness And Hand/eye Coordination And They Just Have To Know That That's Going To Happen. They Have To Be Trained To Not Try To Do Too Much While They Are Doing That. So When You Are On Stage, You Have To Be Aware That You Are Wrong About How It Feels A Lot Of Times.

You Know What, It's Not Your Life, It's Life. Life Is Bigger Than You, If You Can Imagine That. Life Isn't Something That You Possess, It's Something That You Take Part In And Witness.

I Always Tell My Kids To Cut A Sandwich In Half Right When You Get It, And The First Thought You Should Have Is Somebody Else. You Only Ever Need Half A Burger.

You Can't Direct Without A Good Crew.

My 13-year-old Daughter Leaves The House At 7:15 Every Morning And Takes A Smelly City Bus To School Way Uptown. It's Like 8 Degrees Out, And It's Dark And She's Got This Morning Face And I Send Her Out There To Take A Bus. Meanwhile, My Driver Is Sitting In A Toasty Mercedes That's Going To Take Me To Work Once Both Kids Are Gone. I Could Send Her In The Mercedes And Then Have It Come Back To Get Me, But I Can't Have My Kid Doing That. I Can't Do That To Her. Me? I Earned That F—ing Mercedes. You Better F—ing Believe It.