My Mother Was Like A

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

If You're Worth Over $50m You Should Have To Dress Like That Guy On The Monopoly Box. The Super-rich Shouldn't Get All The Benefits Of Looking Like A Regular Guy.

When I Wake Up In The Morning, I Just Can't Get Started Until I've Had That First, Piping Hot Pot Of Coffee. Oh, I've Tried Other Enemas.

Charlie Chaplin Is The Greatest Artist Of The 20th Century. He Takes Me From Laughter To Tears In Seconds. And He Was One Of The Very First Funny Men. It's Like The Original Violins Were Made In Cremona And There's Never Been Any Better Since. Sometimes The Best Come Right Off The Bat.

I Don't Really Hang Out With People. I Like To Be By Myself. In Fact, I've Been Arrested A Few Times Because I Like To Walk Around At Two Or Three In The Morning, Looking At Shop Windows. The Cops Take Me To The Station And Fingerprint Me. But I Wouldn't Call That Hanging Out.