My Kids Are Always Awake.

When You Hear Bacon Cooking....that Sizzling Sound Isn't The Fat Cooking....that's Applause.

I Married A Woman Who Loves To Camp, And I Am What You Would Call "indoorsy"... My Wife Always Brings Up, "camping's A Tradition In My Family." Hey, It Was A Tradition In Everyone's Family 'til We Came Up With The House.

One Of The Benefits Of Eating Salad Is That You Can Eat Tons Of It And Never Be Satisfied.

I Left The Midwest Thinking I Didn't Fit In. But When I Got To New York, I Realized How Truly Midwestern I Was.

You Know, I Want To Teach, But I Don’t Want To Read?