My Grandfather On One Side

Some Say He Isn’t Machine Washable, And All His Potted Plants Are Called ‘steve’. All We Know Is He’s Called The Stig.

Im Not Reckless. I Was Never Reckless.

My First Car Was A 1976 Toyota Corolla Liftback In Red, Like The One In 'the Blues Brothers.' I Painted A Union Jack On The Roof. I Was Absolutely In Love With It Until I Destroyed It, Which Broke My Heart!

Ask Any Ferrari, Porsche Or Ray-ban Salesperson About Their Average Customer And You Will Very Likely Hear That He Is Not, As The Adverts Would Have Us Believe, A Virile Young Footballer With Shiny Hair, A Rippling Six Pack And A Trouser Pouch Like A New Punch Bag. He Is, In Fact, A Middle-aged Bloke Wearing More Chins Than He Started Life With And Carrying The Clear Evidence Of Forty Years Of Beer And Pies Slung Across His Midriff.

I Do Not See How Hanging Litter Louts Up By Their Heels And Beating Them With Sticks Could Be Considered A Crime.