My Favourite Spectator Sport Is

When Did Women Whose Looks Are Not Their Living Start Conducting Themselves Like The Simpering Inmates Of An Ottoman Empire Seraglio?

I Almost Choke On My Popcorn When I Hear Film Stars, Who Walk On Red Carpets As Much As The Rest Of Us Do On Zebra Crossings, Criticising Youngsters Who Crave Fame.

I'll Declare My Own Interest Right Here At The Start And Admit That, Like The Vast Majority Of People, I Find Youthful Looks Appealing.

I Feel I'm Trying To Get This Really Crap Car Going, And It Just Keeps Stalling On Me. And Then Other Times I Feel Like My Life's A Train Thundering Toward Me, And I'm In A Car Stuck On The Crossroads And Can't Get Out. Isn't It Great Being Young!

It Has Been Said That A Pretty Face Is A Passport. But It's Not, It's A Visa, And It Runs Out Fast.