Money, Horse Racing And Women:

When I Die, My Epitaph Or Whatever You Call Those Signs On Gravestones Is Going To Read: "i Joked About Every Prominent Man Of My Time, But I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like."

The Only Time People Dislike Gossip Is When You Gossip About Them.

A President Just Can't Make Much Showing Against Congress. They Lay Awake Nights, Thinking Up Things To Be Against The President On.

Even When You Make A Tax Form Out On The Level, You Don't Know When It's Through If You Are A Crook Or A Martyr.

When I Die, I Want To Die Like My Grandfather Who Died Peacefully In His Sleep. Not Screaming Like All The Passengers In His Car.