Money Can't Buy You Love,

I Get A Phone Call Once Every 18 Months From Some Mad Person Who Wants Me To Do Something For Less Than No Money And They Give Me About A Week's Notice. That's My Film Career, Most Of The Time.

I Don't See Teenagers Anymore. I See... I See Youths. Slumped S Shapes In Their Hoodies, All Huddled Round A Bin Of Burning Grannies. All Texting Eachother Because They've Given Up On Speech.

I'm Just A Guy Who Happens To Work In Public From Time To Time. I've Built A Reputation As An Established Comic, Not As A Celebrity - A Celebrity Is Someone Who Is Famous But Doesn't Do Anything.

I Think I Still Get Something From The Original Broadcaster But I'm Certainly Not Aware Of Any Netflix Van Driving To My House And Unloading A Load Of Cash Into My Front Yard.

I Wouldn't Be In A Huge Hurry To Go Back To Kansas. It Was Just Bizarre. There's A Lot Of Very, Very Heavy Set People Who Believe In Whatever They Were Told, Because They Didn't Seem To Get Out Very Much Or Be Interested In Leaving Where They Were. They Just Didn't Seem That Curious, And I Find That A Little Hard To Deal With.