Men Get Laid, But Women

I Had A Friend Who Had Two Degrees Of Being Made Up: When Invited I Would Say 'can I Make Up?' And He Would Say 'oh Yes - Tinted?', Or He Would Say, 'oh Yes - Clotted?'

Masturbation Is Not Only An Expression Of Self-regard: It Is Also The Natural Emotional Outlet Of Those Who...have Already Accepted As Inevitable The Wide Gulf Between Their Real Futures And The Expectations Of Their Fantasies.

You Fall Out Of Your Mother's Womb, You Crawl Across Open Country Under Fire, And Drop Into Your Grave.

Nothing Shortens A Journey So Pleasantly As An Account Of Misfortunes At Which The Hearer Is Permitted To Laugh.

I Don't Hold With Abroad And Think That Foreigners Speak English When Our Backs Are Turned.