Maybe It Takes Forty Years

You Can't Go Into The Office And Be A Jerk. You Can't Yell At Your Kids Or Your Wife Or Your Husband For No Reason. That Makes You A Terrible Person.

No Woman Will Ever Satisfy Me. I Know That Now, And I Would Never Try To Deny It. But This Is Actually Okay, Because I Will Never Satisfy A Woman, Either. Should I Be Writing Such Thoughts? Perhaps Not. Perhaps It’s A Bad Idea. I Can Definitely Foresee A Scenario Where That First Paragraph Could Come Back To Haunt Me, Especially If I Somehow Became Marginally Famous.

Her Nomination For Vice President In 2008 Represents The Most Desperate Inclinations Of The Republican Party. In Two Hundred Years, I Suspect Historians Will Use Palin As An Example Of How Insane America Became In The Decade Following The Destruction Of The World Trade Center, And Her Origin Story Will Seem As Extraterrestrial And Eccentric As Abe Lincoln Jumping Out Of A Window To Undermine A Voting Quorum In 1840.

Who Am I? Or (perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?

As Of Right Now, I Am In Love With Her, And That Love Is The Biggest Problem In My Life.