Maybe I've Moved To The

I Would Rather Receive A Pap Smear From Captain Hook Than Venture Out On New Year's Eve.

I’m Busy Sorting Through Our New Collection Of Rhinestone Jewelry. Should Anyone Be In The Market For Sparkly Accessories The Size Of A Hubcap, This Is The Place To Get Them. Earlier Today, A Customer Picked Up One Of The Enormous Chandelier-style Offerings And Asked, 'do Those Be Genuine Rhimestones?' I Couldn’t Even Begin To Explain Everything That Was Wrong With Her Sentence, So I Simply Replied, 'yes. They Do Be Genuine.

Fortunately, All It Takes For Us To Be Of One Mind Is Some Buttercream Frosting.

Really? If I Could Hate My Trainer? That Would Be Ideal. I'd Prefer To Despise This Person With The Fire Of Ten Thousand Suns. So When I Walk - Nay, Crawl - Out Of Here At The End Of My Workouts, I Want To Lull Myself To Sleep By Picturing My Very Talented And Inspirational Trainer Getting Hit By A Bus. A Bus That I Am Driving.

I Don't Care How Happily Married You Are Or How Deeply Enmeshed You Are With Your Children And Family And Career -- Every Woman Needs A Couple Of Chicks Who'll Break Out The Sangria Just Because You Need To Vent.