Martinis Are Like Breasts, One

Just Two Days In Manhattan And You Find Yourself Looking For A Place To Wash Your Handkerchief After You Wipe Your Forehead And It Comes Away Black. Is There A Dirtier Or More Fascinating City Anywhere In The Land? The Answer To Both Parts Of The Question Has To Be Positively Negative.

One Day If I Do Go To Heaven...i'll Look Around And Say, 'it Ain't Bad, But It Ain't San Francisco.

I Have A Memory Like An Elephant. I Remember Every Elephant I've Ever Met.

A Good Column Is One That Sells Paper. It Doesn't Matter How Beautifully It Is Written And How Much You Admire The Author... If It Doesn't Sell Any Papers, It's Not A Good Column. It's A Terrible Yardstick To Use, But In The Newspaper Business, That's The Whole Thing.

Baffling Late-life Discovery: Golfers Wear Those Awful Clothes On Purpose.