Martha Stewart Is Now Under

As You Know, Several Times, Mccain Talked About Serving His Country In Vietnam, Which Is A Nice Change After 16 Years And Two Presidents Who Could Never Quite Explain How They Got Out Of Serving Their Country In Vietnam.

President Bush Said That Our Kids Must Be Taught How To Read. He Said If His Aides Never Learned To Read, They'd Never Be Able To Tell Him What's In The Newspapers Every Day.

The Other Night, President Bush's Press Conference Was Pre-empted By 'american Idol.' You Know The Difference Between President Bush And 'american Idol?' See, On 'american Idol,' The One With The Most Votes Wins.

Kerry Is Well On His Way To Reaching His Magic Number Of 2,162. That's The Total Number Of Delegates He Needs To Win The Democratic Nomination. See For President Bush It's Different - His Magic Number Is 5. That's The Number Of Supreme Court Judges Needed To Win.

Statistics Show 50% Of The People Use The Internet. The Rest Have Sex With Real People.