Loss Is So Paradoxical: It

A Mother Is The Portal By Which You Enter The World.

I Wasn't Prepared For The Fact That Grief Is So Unpredictable. It Wasn't Just Sadness, And It Wasn't Linear. Somehow I'd Thought That The First Days Would Be The Worst And Then It Would Get Steadily Better - Like Getting Over The Flu. That's Not How It Was.

One Word I Had Throughout The First Year And A Half Of My Mother's Death Was 'unmoored.' I Felt That I Had No Anchor, That I Had No Home In The World.

What Had Happened Still Seemed Implausible. A Person Was Present Your Entire Life, And Then One Day She Disappeared And Never Came Back. It Resisted Belief.

There Are Many Kinds Of Loss Embedded In A Loss - The Loss Of The Person, And The Loss Of The Self You Got To Be With That Person. And The Seeming Loss Of The Past, Which Now Feels Forever Out Of Reach.