Kim Jong Un's Sister Got

Valentine's Day Money-saving Tip: Break Up On February 13th, Get Back Together On The 15th.

Here's Some News From Afghanistan. We're Sending More Troops To Seal Up The Borders. Can We Try That Here? Three Months, 12,000 Pounds Of Bombs And Billions And Billions Of Dollars And The Highest Ranking Enemy We've Captured So Far Is An American.

The Reason I Vote Democrat Is Because I Think It's Better To Pay Billions For Oil To People Who Hate Us, But Not Drill Our Own Because It Might Upset Some Endangered Beetle, Gopher, Or Fish Here In America. We Don't Care About The Beetles, Gophers, Or Fish In Those Other Countries.

Herman Cain Was Unaware That China Is A Nuclear Power. And I Said To Myself, 'hey, Herman, How About Making An Unwanted Advance On A History Book?'

Wherever We've Travelled In This Great Land Of Ours, We've Found That People Everywhere Are About 90% Water.