Kayso, It Turns Out That

He Had Risked His Freedom And His Pride To Buy Her This, To Acknowledge That Part Of Her That Everyone Else Seemed To Want To Get Rid Of.

...then He Looked At My T-shirt And Saw Byron's Picture On It And He Quoted "she Walks In Beauty," Which Is Like My Favorite Poem Next To The One By Baudelaire About His Girlfriend Being Nothing But Worm Food, Except That Lily Called That One First Because Baudelaire Is Her Fave Poet And So She Got The Shirt With Him On It, Even Though Byron Is Way More Scrumptious And I Would Do Him On Sharp Gravel If I Had The Chance. --from The Chronicles Of Abby Normal

Like Last Year I Took Advance Foods Class (which Is Like Cooking For Nerds) After Lunch, And So I Usually Took A Nap. Which Was Fine, Because I'm Not Even Thrilled About Regular Foods, So, You Know, What Do I Need With Like Advanced Digital Hd Wi-fi Foods And Whatnot? -abby

He Has The Attention Span Of A Hummingbird.

...as If Someone Had Thrown A Hand Grenade Into The Middle Of A Teddy Bear Orgy And The Only Survivors Had Had Their Fur Blown Off.