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We Ought To Thank President Bush. He Made It A Lot Easier For People To Do Taxes This Year. No Job, No Income Tax This Year.

A Lot Of People Are Now Criticizing Attorney General John Ashcroft For His Policy On Detaining What He Considers Suspicious People. I Think He's Going A Little Overboard. Today, He Arrested The Entire Band Foreigner.

The White House Is Defending President Obama's Sports Activities Over The Past Week, Saying That Everyone Needs Leisure Time. Thanks To These Economic Policies, 9.5 Percent Of Americans Have All The Leisure Time They Need.

Last Night, We Had The First Gubernatorial Debate. Some People Are Criticizing Schwarzenegger For Not Going. They Say Arnold Goes Around Telling People He Cares, Everything Is Going To Be Great, Forget About Everything He Did In The '70s. Hey, It Worked For George Bush.

A New Medical Study Reports That Men Who Eat Ten Pizzas A Week Are Less Likely To Develop Prostate Problems At Age 50. That's Because They Are Usually Dead By Age 40.