I've Gotten "condescending" A Million

I've Never Thought Of Myself As A Hoity-toity Cultural Critic.

Hopefully People Are Upset For The Reason I Want Them To Be Upset. Even When I Was Doing Open Mics, I've Always Had People Upset. I've Never Been The Consummate Crowd-pleaser.

I Don't Want To Do 20 Minutes On Donald Trump. I Want To Do 10 Minutes And Move On. I Wouldn't Even Do That With A Live Show, Because I Don't Want It To Feel Like "an Evening Of Political Comedy."

I Do Believe That On A Whole, Women Are Definitely Smarter Than Men... I Also Believe That Dogs Are Smarter Than Women. No? That One, You Don't Believe It? You Believe That I Didn't Do A Series Of Tests? You Are Right To Not Believe It, Because I'm Going To Go Ahead And Admit That I Do Not Believe What I Just Said, It Was What's Described As A 'joke.' Um, I'll Be Telling A Bunch Of Them Here Tonight.

I Have A Few Business Ideas (that I'm Going To Advertise In High Times, Amongst Other Places), And One Of Them Is A Service In Which I Offer To Eat And Describe Pork To Kosher People.