I've Finally Found My Home

The Reason There's A Question Mark On My Front Door Is Just In Case I Forget My Address.

Yes, It's True, I've Been Called The Laurence Olivier Of Spoofs. I Guess That Would Make Laurence Olivier The Leslie Nielsen Of Shakespeare.

I Like My Sex The Way I Play Basketball, One On One With As Little Dribbling As Possible.

The Violence Or The Vaudeville Style Of Comedy Is A Technique All By Itself. You Get Up There, And You Are A Comedian, And You're Doing One Thing. That Is, You're Going To Make The Audience Laugh.

In Episodic Television You'll Have A Good Guy Who's On Every Week And That's His Show! He's The Regular On It, And You're Not Going To Be "gooder" Than He Is; I Mean, He's The Guy Who's Got To Solve Your Problem! So If You're Playing A Good Guy, You Have To Have A Problem, And He's Going To Solve It For You. And The Only Really Strong Dramatic Part Is The Heavy, Because The Meaner And Crueler And Rottener You Are, The Better The Good Guy Looks When He Whips Ya' At The End Because He Always Is Gonna Whip Ya! So, The Best Dramatic Guest Shot Is The Heavy.