I've Been On The Whisky

I Went To Buy Some Camouflage Trousers The Other Day But I Couldn’t Find Any.

Two Eskimos Sitting In A Kayak Were Chilly; But When They Lit A Fire In The Craft, It Sank, Proving Once And For All That You Can't Have Your Kayak And Heat It Too.

I Bought Some Hp Sauce The Other Day. It's Costing Me 6p A Month For The Next 2 Years.

A Man Walks Into Doctor's Office. "what Seems To Be The Problem?" Asks The Doc. "it's ... Um ... Well ... I Have Five Penises." Replies The Man. "blimey!" Says The Doctor, "how Do Your Trousers Fit?" "like A Glove."

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.