I've Been In Theaters. Like

Man, Them Engagement Rings, Boy, They Cost A Lot. I Was Looking At 'em. Cost Like A Thousand Bucks, Two Thousand Bucks, Y'know. Three Thousand Bucks. Something Like That- Four Thousand Bucks. Big Number Divisible By A Thousand, Anyways.

I Don't Really Like Politics That Much. And I Like The Order And Simplicity Of Sports. They Have An Ending. You Can Argue With Your Friends About It, But In The End You Still Like Sports. I Almost Love The Fantasy World Of Sports More Than The Real World.

Most Men Will Go Farther To Give Advice Than To Follow Their Own Opinion.

Rip Amy Winehouse. We Lost A True Heroin Addict Today.

Whenever I Do Theaters, I Don't Like 'em. I Don't Think They're Right For Stand-up.