It's Really Stupid To Defend

I Mean, I Talk About Being Jewish A Lot. It's Funny Because I Do Think Of Myself As Jewish Ethnically, But I'm Not Religious At All. I Have No Religion.

I Learned Pretty Early Is I Never Defend My Material; It's For Other People To If Someone Is Offended. It's So Subjective, And If You Don't Find It Funny, It's Definitely Going To Be Offensive.

She, Uh, Came Out Of The Closet Recently, My Niece. Um... She Announced To The Family That She's A Lesbian And... She's Seven, Did I Mention That? And, Uh, I Don't Even Know If She Knows What A Lesbian Is, But I Support Her Completely. And, Uh... I'll Tell You What's Heartbreaking. My Sister Punished Her For It. Can You Believe That? No Pussy For A Week. Which To Us May Not Sound Like... But When You're Seven, You Know, A Week Is A Long Time.

Mommy Is One Of The Chosen People … And Daddy Believes That Jesus Is Magic!

I Just Look Like A Transvestite When I Try To Dress Up. There's No Place To Hide My Balls.