It's Not Called Cocaine Any

Denmark Is Charging A Fat Food Tax On Cheese, Meat, And Oil. Here, We Call That The Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast.

John Kerry Keeping A Low Profile This Week. He Said He Wanted To Get Away And Go Someplace Where No One Would Expect To See Him. So I Guess He Showed Up At His Old Seat In The Senate. Nobody's Going To Look For Him There.

At Ken Lay's Funeral Service The Minister Compared Him To Dr. Martin Luther King, Junior. The Difference Is Dr. King Had A Dream, Ken Lay Had A Scheme.

The Military Said We'll Be Able To Confirm Saddam Is Dead With Dna Testing. Apparently We Have A Sample Of His Dna. So Monica Lewinsky Is Working For The Cia?

In His Big Victory Speech Last Night, Senator Kerry Said That He Wanted To Defeat George Bush And The 'economy Of Privilege.' Then He Hugged His Wife, Teresa, Heir To The Multi-million Dollar Heinz Food Fortune.