It's Far More Impressive When

There Are Three Possible Parts To A Date, Of Which At Least Two Must Be Offered: Entertainment, Food, And Affection. It Is Customary To Begin A Series Of Dates With A Great Deal Of Entertainment, A Moderate Amount Of Food, And The Merest Suggestion Of Affection. As The Amount Of Affection Increases, The Entertainment Can Be Reduced Proportionately. When The Affection Is The Entertainment, We No Longer Call It Dating. Under No Circumstances Can The Food Be Omitted.

The Etiquette Business Has Its Emergencies, Heaven Knows, But It Is In The Nature Of Etiquette Emergencies That Once One Realizes What One Has Done, It Is Too Late. One Might As Well Get A Good Night's Sleep And Send Flowers With An Apology In The Morning.

Everyone Old Enough To Have A Secret Is Entitled To Have Some Place To Keep It.

Chaperons, Even In Their Days Of Glory, Were Almost Never Able To Enforce Morality; What They Did Was To Force Immorality To Be Discreet. This Is No Small Contribution.

A Wedding Invitation Is Sent By People Who Have Been Saying, "do We Have To Ask Them?" To People Whose First Response Is, "how Much Do You Think We Have To Spend On Them?