It's Always A Shock To

I Have Made A Lot Of Mistakes Falling In Love, And Regretted Most Of Them, But Never The Potatoes That Went With Them.

No Man Can Be Friends With A Woman He Finds Attractive. He Always Wants To Have Sex With Her. Sex Is Always Out There. Friendship Is Ultimately Doomed And That Is The End Of The Story.

Oh, How I Regret Not Having Worn A Bikini For The Entire Year I Was Twenty-six. If Anyone Young Is Reading This, Go, Right This Minute, Put On A Bikini, And Don't Take It Off Until You're Thirty-four.

Whenever I Get Married, I Start Buying Gourmet Magazine.

Insane People Are Always Sure They're Just Fine. It's Only The Sane People Who Are Willing To Admit They're Crazy.