It Was Tumultuous, It Was

Well... You Know, I Would Wake Up With A Terrible Hangover In A Jail Somewhere And Worst Part Was That I Would Not Know Why I Was There.

You Can’t Make Everybody Laugh. You Gotta Just Do What You Think Is Funny. Just Be Obstreperous To Everybody.

New York Stat Agreed To Pay $12 Million To Settle A Lawsuit Filed Three Decades Ago By Inmates Swept Up In The Bloody 1971 Revolt At Attica Prison. The Settlement Will Be Paid In The Form Of Chocolate Bars And Packs Of Newports That Can Be Picked Up In The Commissary.

I Think Everyone Should Own Six Guns, Even Though I Don't Own Any.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.