It Was So Sweet Backstage,

You Cannot Make Your Opportunities Concur With The Opportunities Of People Whose Incomes Are Ten Times Greater Than Yours.

You Know, A Lot Of People Come To Me And They Say, "steve, How Can You Be So Fucking Funny?" There's A Secret To It, It's No Big Deal. Before I Go Out, I Put A Slice Of Bologna In Each Of My Shoes. So When I'm On Stage, I Feel Funny.

I Believe In Eight Of The Ten Commandments. I Believe In Going To Church Every Sunday... Unless There's A Game On.

I Knew I Could Only Play Cyrano If He Were Americanized. I Had No Intention Of Writing The Script Myself. I Was Afraid Of It. You're Playing With Fire When You Tamper With A Classic. So I Went Looking For A Writer. But It Was Such A Personal Idea, And Anyone I Would Give It To Would Make It His Own. It's Hard To Ask Neil Simon To Write Your Idea.

What Is A Movie Star? A Movie Star Is Many Things. They Can Be Tall, Short, Thin, Or Skinny. They Can Be Democrats... Or Skinny.