It's Not A Bloody Piano,

I Don't Believe That Competitions Are Important.

If You've Never Seen An Elephant Ski, Then You've Never Been On Acid.

In Stand-up It Really Helps To Play Yourself And Talk About Your Own Feelings. You Cannot Fail To Be Original If You're Just Talking About What You Think About X, Y And Z. Unless You've Got A Twin Brother Who's Also A Stand-up.

I Don't Believe In God. I Believe Gods And Devils Are Within Us. It's Our Own Battle. Our Life's Battle Is To Appeal To The Gods Within Us, And To Fight The Devils Within Us.

Most Transvestites Fancy Girls.