It's All Bullshit, Folks And

Religion Cruelly Exploits Our Need To Feel Connected.

What I Became A Comedian For Was To Get My Art Out. To Get Some Of These Feelings And Things I Had On My Chest Out. I Don't Care If People Believe Them, Listen To Them, Change Their Ways, Or Think, Or Any Of That Kind Of Crap. I'm Interested In Showing Off. I'm The Same Kid From Sixth Grade Who Stood Up And Said "watch This."

I Don't Consider Myself A Cynic. I Think Of Myself As A Skeptic And A Realist.

Conservatives Want Live Babies So They Can Train Them To Be Dead Soldiers.

There Are A Lot Of Little Things About Our Bodies That We All Know, But We Never Talk About. That's What Interests Me. These Are Practically Universal Experiences; Nobody Mentions Them! Some Of Them Are Disgusting. Some Of Them Are Appallingly Revolting And Degrading Even To The Most Degenerate Mind. So Let's Get Started With A Couple Of Them.