It's A Life Of Five-card

My Dad Was Superman To Me, And In My Mind He Always Will Be.

Eddie Murphy Said Once In An Interview That Nothing Is Offensive If It's Funny. I Sort Of Agree With That, But If Something's Funny And You're The Subject Of It, Sometimes It's More Offensive. If Someone's Insulting You, You Want Them To Sound Like An Idiot.

Richard Lewis Has This Incredible Ability To Look Like He's Just... You Know It's An Act That's Been Honed. What You Have To Do In Standup Is Create Spontaneity, Somehow; Even Though You've Done This Act A Million Times, You Gotta Look Like You're Almost Just Thinking Of It Now, To Make It Entertainer.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.