Is She Crazy, Like It

You Gotta Make Your Own Fun. That's Right, Listen To That Mother Of Two, She Knows What I'm Talking About.

If You Take Off Your Pants And Her First Reaction Is, "awwww, Look At It...like A Little Baby Jesus." Time To Buy A Porsche.

I Masturbate! I Do It Like I Think If I Keep Doing It, I'm Gonna Win Something.

I've Never Had A Surprise Birthday Party. I've Had Every Other Type Of Surprise. I've Had Surprise Beatings, Surprise Drug Tests, Surprise Daughter I Think.

Everything You Do, Burns Calories. Getting Up In The Morning, 100 Calories; Kicking The Hooker Out Of Your Bed, Another 100; Diapering Your Monkey, 35 Calories; Laughing At A Midget, Fun And 10 Calories; Catching Your Girlfriend With Another Guy, 2000-3000 Calories, Depending On Backswings.