Irritable Judges Suffer From A

When... I Told My Father I Wanted To Be A Writer, He Had Asked Me To Consider My Unfortunate Wife, Who Would Have Me About The House All Day 'wearing A Dressing Gown, Brewing Tea And Stumped For Words'.

I'd Been Told Of All The Things You're Meant To Feel When Your Father Dies. Sudden Freedom, Growing Up, The End Of Dependence, The Step Into The Sunlight When No One Is Taller Than You And You're In No One's Shadow. I Know What I Felt. Lonely.

Writing About The Indignities Of Old Age: The Daunting Stairway To The Restaurant Restroom, The Benefits Of A Wheelchair In Airports And Its Disadvantages At Cocktail Parties, Giving The User What He Described As A Child's-eye View Of The Party And A Crotch-level View Of The Guests. Dying Is A Matter Of Slapstick And Pratfalls. The Aging Process Is Not Gradual Or Gentle. It Rushes Up, Pushes You Over And Runs Off Laughing. No One Should Grow Old Who Isn't Ready To Appear Ridiculous.

The Main Aim Of Education Should Be To Send Children Out Into The World With A Reasonably Sized Anthology In Their Heads So That, While Seated On The Lavatory, Waiting In Doctors' Surgeries, On Stationary Trains Or Watching Interviews With Politicians, They May Have Something Interesting To Think About.

I Don't Think You Ever Feel A Success Really Because Everything Could Always Be Done Better Than You've Done It.