Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than

They Said That President Bush's War In Iraq Has Cost The Former Spanish Prime Minister His Job. So President Bush Isn't Losing American Jobs Anymore, He's Branching Out To Other Countries.

The University Of Nebraska Says That Elderly People That Drink Beer Or Wine At Least Four Times A Week Have The Highest Bone Density. They Need It - They're The Ones Falling Down The Most.

The Healthcare Reform Bill Now Includes A Tanning Booth Tax Of 10 Percent. You Know What This Means? This Whole Thing Could Be Funded By The Cast Of 'jersey Shore.'

There's This Huge Controversy Over The Fact That President Bush Apparently Received Credit For National Guard Service In Alabama In '72 And '73 Even Though His Commanding Officers Are Saying He Never Reported. I Think What's Even More Disturbing Is That He Received Enough Credits To Graduate From Yale.

Postal Inspectors Have Been Given Advanced Warning That Publishers Clearinghouse Is Sending Packets Of Laundry Detergent That Could Be Mistaken For Anthrax. Oh, Good Timing. What Genius Came Up With This Promotion? What's Next - A Ticking Alarm Clock? Let's Put That In A Box.