In Trying To Defend Everything

The More I See Of Men, The Better I Like My Dog.

You Will Certainly Grant Me That Neither Antiquity Nor Whatever Nation Has Devised A More Repulsive And Blasphemous Absurdity Than That Of Eating Your God. This Is The Most Disgusting Dogma Of Christian Religion, The Greatest Insult To The Highest Being, The Climax Of Madness And Insanity.

It Is Disgusting To Note The Increase In The Quantity Of Coffee Used By My Subjects And The Amount Of Money That Goes Out Of The Country In Consequence. Everybody Is Using Coffee. If Possible, This Must Be Prevented. My People Must Drink Beer.

Many Battles Have Been Fought And Won By Soldiers Nourished On Beer, And The King Does Not Believe That Coffee-drinking Soldiers Can Be Relied Upon To Endure Hardships In Case Of Another War.

Though I May Not Be A King In My Future Life, So Much The Better: I Shall Nevertheless Live An Active Life And, On Top Of It, Earn Less Ingratitude.