In Spite Of What Thomas

When A Person Has A Gun, Sometimes Their Mind Clicks That This Thing ... Will Win Arguments And Straighten People Out.

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.

When My Son Was Murdered People Asked Me How I Felt About God And What Had Happened To My Son. I Said "no, You Can't Go There. You Have To Understand That There Is A Devil And He Works 24/7. Whoever Murdered Our Son Was With The Devil."

Fatherhood Is Pretending The Present You Love Most Is Soap-on-a-rope.

My Dad Came Over To The House... Went Into His Pocket And Pulled Out A Handful Of Money, And Began To Pass It Out To The Children... This Was The Same Man Who, When I Was His Child, I Would Ask Him For 50 Cents, This Man Would Tell Me His Life's Story.