In Hollywood If You Don't

I'm An Entertainer; I Try To Give The Public What It Wants While I'm On The Screen, And I'm Completely Sincere About It. If I Don't Happen To Be A Laughing Boy Off The Screen, That Doesn't Make Me A Hypocrite Or A Phony.

Happiness Is Being Served With A Paternity Suit On Your 75th Birthday.

Pittsburgh Is Kind Of Like Newark Without The Cultural Advantages.

Money Gives Me Just One Big Thing That's Really Important, And That's The Freedom Of Not Having To Worry About Money.

As For Being Sociable, I Hate The Phoniness In The Showbiz World. I Know This Will Be Taken Wrong, But I Don't Like Clubs And Organizations. I Was Never A Joiner.