I'm Not A Nice Person.

I Grew Up Hearing Over And Over, To The Point Of Tedium, That "hard Work" Was The Secret Of Success: "work Hard And You'll Get Ahead" Or "it's Hard Work That Got Us Where We Are." No One Ever Said That You Could Work Hard - Harder Even Than You Ever Thought Possible - And Still Find Yourself Sinking Ever Deeper Into Poverty And Debt.

When You Watch Television, You Never See People Watching Television. We Love Television Because It Brings Us A World In Which Television Does Not Exist.

A Child Is Not A Salmon Mousse. A Child Is A Temporarily Disabled And Stunted Version Of A Larger Person, Whom You Will Someday Know. Your Job Is To Help Them Overcome The Disabilities Associated With Their Size And Inexperience So That They Get On With Being That Larger Person.

No One Should Be Incarcerated For Debt Or Squeezed For Money They Have No Chance Of Getting Their Hands On.

I Was Raised The Old-fashioned Way, With A Stern Set Of Moral Principles: Never Lie, Cheat, Steal Or Knowingly Spread A Venereal Disease. Never Speed Up To Hit A Pedestrian Or, Or Course, Stop To Kick A Pedestrian Who Has Already Been Hit. From Which It Followed, Of Course, That One Would Never Ever -- On Pain Of Deletion From Dozens Of Christmas Card Lists Across The Country -- Vote Republican.