I'm Not A Liberal, I'm

If You Were The Only Person Left On The Planet, I Would Have To Attack You. That's My Job.

I Don't Believe In Good People And Bad People. I Believe In The Better Parts Of People.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

I Found People Looked Better When They Laughed

Women Want Their Men To Be Cops. They Want You To Punish Them And Tell Them What The Limits Are. The Only Thing That Women Hate Worse From A Man Than Being Slapped Is When You Get On Your Knees And Say You're Sorry.