I'm Just Trying To Understand

I Think You Should, Yeah. You Should Wash Your Beard, Then Shave It Off, Nail It To A Frisbee And Fling It Over A Rainbow.

I Have No Qualifications To Do Anything Else And There Weren't Any Formal Application Forms You Had To Fill In For Stand-up, So I Thought I'd Give That A Twist.

You Learn Very Very Quickly That It Is Mostly About Swearing, Actually. That's All You're Doing, Swearing, In A Box With Wheels.

Everybody Is Corrupted By Hotel Rooms. You Can't Help It. It's The Only Place In The World Where You Walk In And The First Think You Do Is Steal Everything Before You Take Your Coat Off.

I Think Of Myself As A Theatre Comic Instead Of Club Comic Because I Tend To Talk For A Bit Before I Start Being Funny. I Don't Really Do The One-liners And Five Second Bits Or Whatever. But It's Good To Work Stuff Out Sometimes.