I'm Here Instead Of Having

One Night I Went Over To Get Some Dope From Some Hollywood Tough Guy. After I Left, My Son Scott, Who Was Only Fifteen, Went Over With A Baseball Bat To Kill Him. I Was Laughing Out Of One Eye And Crying Out Of The Other. I Thought, Who Am I Kidding?

Sure, I Want To Be The Best Actor In The World. But My Life Is My Family, My Son, My Friends. I Don't Know How Anyone Can Find Fault With That.

I Always Thought Of Myself As Some Sort Of Athlete Until I Started Playing Golf A Couple Years Ago.

Some Guys Say Beauty Is Only Skin Deep. But When You Walk Into A Party, You Don't See Somebody's Brain. The Initial Contact Has To Be The Sniffing.

I Never Saw My Dad Cry. My Son Saw Me Cry. My Dad Never Told Me He Loved Me, And Consequently I Told Scott I Loved Him Every Other Minute. The Point Is, I'll Make Less Mistakes Than My Dad, My Sons Hopefully Will Make Less Mistakes Than Me, And Their Sons Will Make Less Mistakes Than Their Dads.