I'm Gonna Do The Whole

A Lot Of Times Girls Think They're Funny, But They Want To Pretty At The Same Time, And If You Want To Be Funny, You Have To Be Willing To Get Ugly.

I'd Just Much Rather See An Ugly Person Take The Trash Out Than See Somebody Really Pretty Taking The Trash Out.

I Have A Lot Of Fake Food In My Apartment, But I'm Picky About It. Old Plaster Food, Like From The '50s Is Really Nice, Hollowed Out Paper-mache Food From Old Plays - The New Stuff Just Looks Too Good.

I Always Knew I Didn't Want Kids, And I Didn't Want To Get Married.

If You Decide On Having An Alcoholic At Your Party, Make Sure It's A Large Gathering. This Way, Until The Alcoholic Begins Removing Their Clothes Or Dangling The Cat Out The Window, They Can Sort Of Blend In. An Alcoholic At A Small Gathering Is Called An Intervention.