I'm An Ordinary Guy With

The Bernie Mac Show' Is My Life. It's The Truth, And I'm Not Ashamed Of A Minute, An Hour, Or A Second Of My Life.

I Became The Storyteller Of South Side Chicago. I Used An Old Kiwi Liquid Shoe Polish As A Microphone. I'd Go Around The House Interviewing Everybody, Telling Stupid Jokes, Doing Voices. I Mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., People On 'laugh-in,' Flip Wilson.

If You Mess Something Up, Remember Who Got You There. Don't Be Pointing Fingers, Even If Finger-pointing Is Called For. Only One You Got To Blame Is Your Own Self.

Sometimes When You Lose You Win, Son. Failure Is Just Life's Way Of Preparing You For Success.

When I Get A Chance To Play Golf Or Go On A Boat With Good People, Take The Boat Out And Put Some Lobsters On The Grill, Get The Ice-cold Beer And The Cigars - That's Heaven Here On Earth.