If You Want To Cry,

My Grandmother Is A Little Cuban Woman Who Cooks All Day And Speaks Spanish. Your Grandmother Watches Pay-per-view Porn." "she Used To Watch The Weather Channel, But She Said There Wasn't Enough Action." -ranger And Stephanie

Sorry About Bender," Lula Said, Letting The Trans Am Idle At The Curb. "maybe We Could Tell Vinnie He Died. We Could Say We Were All Set To Bring Bender In, And He Died. Bang. Dead As A Doorknob." "better Yet, Why Don't We Just Go Back And Kill Him," I Said. I Opened The Door To Leave, Caught My Toe In The Floor Mat, And Fell Out Of The Car, Face First. I Rolled Onto My Back And Stared Up At The Stars. "i'm Fine," I Said To Lula. "maybe I'll Sleep Here Tonight.

He Specializes In Virgins! The Brush Of His Fingertips Turns Virgins Into Slobbering Mush." Mary Lou Molnar

I Don't Feel So Good." Lula Said. And She Farted. She Squeezed Her Eyes Shut Tight And Did A Full Minute-long Fart. "excuse Me." She Said. I Was Horrified And Impressed All At The Same Time. It Was A Record Breaking Fart. On My Best Day, I Couldn't Come Near To Farting Like That.

Shirley's Gonna Be Pissed," Gazarra Said. "she Hates When I Get Shot." To My Recollection, The Only Other Time Gazarra Was Shot Was When He Was Playing Quick Draw In The Police Station Elevator And His Gun Accidentally Discharged. The Bullet Ricocheted Off The Elevator Wall And Lodged In Gazarra's Right Buttock.