If You Have To Keep

David Holdaway Was My Stage Name. I Was An Actor For About Eight Years In The '90s. I Had To Change My Name Because There Was Another David Nicholls, And I Thought If I Changed It To My Mother's Name, She'd Be Touched.

Alice Doesn't Seem To Mind Because She's Laughing Too, And Biting Her Lip, All Doe-eyed, And Tossing Her Freshly Washed Hair, And Norton Tosses His Lovely, Glossy Hair Back, And She Tosses Her Hair In Return, And He Tosses His, And She Tosses Hers, And It;s Like Some Mating Ritual On A Wildlife Program.

Happyish. Well, Happyish Isn't So Bad.' 'it's The Most We Can Hope For.

I Know That For Every Reader Who Has Lost The Habit Or Can't Find The Time, There Are People Who've Never Enjoyed Reading And Question The Value Of Literature, Either As Entertainment Or Education, Or Believe That A Love Of Books, And Of Fiction In Particular, Is Sentimental Or Frivolous.

I Think What It Is Is, If You're In School And You're Not That Bright Or Good-looking Or Popular Or Whatever, And One Day You Say Something And Someone Laughs, Well, You Sort Of Grab Onto It, Don't You? You Think, Well I Run Funny And I've Got This Stupid Big Face And Big Thighs And No-one Fancies Me, But At Least I Can Make People Laugh. And It's Such A Nice Feeling, Making Someone Laugh, That Maybe You Get A Bit Reliant On It. Like, If You;re Not Funny Then You're Not...anything