If You Are Living For

When You're...stepping Over A Guy On The Sidewalk...does It Ever Occur To You To Think, 'wow. Maybe Our System Doesn't Work?'

What Before Seemed A...frustrating Wall, The Comic Deftly And Fearlessly Steps Through, Proving The Absurdity Of It All.

Courtroom For Ted Bundy's Trial Is Packed With Women, Trying To Meet Him And Give Him Love Letters And Wedding-fucking-proposals...and The First Thought That Enters My Mind Is, "and I'm Not Getting Laid." What Am I Doing Wrong?

I Ascribe To Mark Twain's Theory That The Last Person Who Should Be President Is The One Who Wants It The Most. The One Who Should Be Picked Is The One Who Should Be Dragged Kicking And Screaming Into The White House.

I Can Speak For Every Guy In This Room Here Tonight. Guys, If You Could Blow Yourselves, Ladies, You'd Be In This Room Alone Right Now. Watching An Empty Stage.