If Someone Else Is Paying

I Was Talking To Jesus, And I Said, Jesus, I Feel Like No One Will Ever Accept Me. And Jesus Looked At Me And Said, You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

If A Comedian Tells A Joke That You Find Funny, You Laugh. If He Tells A Joke You Do Not Find Funny, Dont Laugh. Or You Could Possibly Go As Far As Groaning Or Rolling Your Eyes. Then You Wait For His Next Joke; If Thats Funny, Then You Laugh. If Its Not, You Dont Laugh - Or At Very Worst, You Can Leave Quietly.

You Never Know What People Will Choose To Be Offended By.

Any Misfortune That Happens To Another Person Is Funny. If It Happens To Someone Else And Not Me, It's Very Funny.

You Can Say "ass," But You Can't Say "asshole." That's Why I Always Cringe When A Character In A Tv Show Refers To Someone As An "ass." Unless You're British, Calling Someone An Ass Really Doesn't Work. But Those Are The Rules Of Television. You Can Be A Dirtbag, But Not A Scumbag.