If It Were Up To

The Greatest Charity You Can Contribute To Is Yourself. Instead Of Spending A Dollar To Help Feed Hungry Children, Why Not Spend That Dollar On Hair Gel So You Can Get The Perfect Cowlick?

I Was Originally Casted To Be In The Superman Movie But I Read The Script And Realized That It Was Mysteriously Similar To My Screenplay For Zach Braff The Movie.

I Think In A Play It's Wise To Just Sit Back And Watch Other Actors And Be Able To Shape It From The Audience.

It's Not That I'm Racist Or Anything, Because I'm Not, But I Just Don't Think We Should Be Wasting Our Time Helping People That Are Going To Die Soon Anyway.

My Tears Cure Cancer Too, It's Just That I Laugh At Cancer Patients.