If I Don't Do Stand-up

People Say I'm A Nice Girl Saying Terrible Things. I Tend To Say The Opposite Of What I Think. You Hope That The Absolute Power Of That Transcends, And Reaches The Audience.

Guess What, Martin Luther King? I Had A Dream, Too.

When I Was Three, My Dad Thought It Would Be Hilarious To Teach Me Swear Words, Then Have Me Say Them To His Friends. They Would Laugh And Laugh. I Realize Now The Laugh Was Pure Shock Value, But It Felt Really Good, And I've Been Chasing It Ever Since.

Anything Television Trivia I'm Good At. But When You're On Your Couch, You're Really Good At It, But When You're Standing There, It's Probably Scary.

The Worst Thing That Can Happen For People Who Don't Want Women To Be Strong Is That We Help Each Other And Become A Force.